Monday, December 8, 2008

news flash! the Pope is catholic!

so i got a comment on my last post from a new "anonymous". let's call this one A2. this person was not as nice as the last. i'm not sure what incited them so, but since he/she has chosen not to reveal himself/herself, i am left to only wonder. my guess is that either i do not know this person at all, he/she has been hurt by someone and they are projecting that anger on to me OR i do know this person, have slighted him/her in some way, and they feel the only way to get back at me is to leave a nasty anonymous comment on my blog.

i won't lie, when i first read it, it stung. my initial reaction was hurt and i was on the verge of deleting it but then i stopped. i decided it better for me to keep it, as a reminder that, not only are there people out there that really don't like me, but also as a reminder that it's ok if people dislike, or even worse, hate me.

A2 informed that i was egotistical and self-absorbed. and honestly, i can't really say that i disagree with that assessment. i mean, let's face it, i write a freaking blog! and i not only expect, but assume that others will read it, and may even be moved by it. what could be more egotistical and self-absorbed than that?! i feel comments like that are tantamount to informing the Pope that he's catholic.

i briefly considered writing a post defending my name, as it were. lauding all the wonderful selfless acts that i have done over the years, making me appear akin to the nature of Mother Theresa but i decided that would only exaggerate and emphasize how truly egotistical and self-absorbed i really am.

so, instead i've decided to confess. i am egotistical. i am self-absorbed. i do not deny it. nor do i defend it. i honestly believe we are all egotistical and self-absorbed but to varying degrees at varying times in our lives. and i have spent too many years placing myself in comparison with others. there is only one person that ever walked this earth that was truly selfless and others-centric and He lived 2000 years ago. the rest of us could never even come close to that kind of selfless sacrifice. this does not preclude us from trying to love others and care for others as we would ourselves. quite the opposite, it should drive us to never be satisfied with who we are and what we do and how we make a difference in this world.

to A2, if i know you and have wronged you in the past i am most sincerely sorry for my actions. i promise you, i have never intentionally been malicious towards anyone. i may have done and said some stupid things, scratch that, i know i've said and done some stupid things, and if you were ever a victim of my foolishness, again, i am incredibly sorry.

if i don't know you, well, i still apologize. i know what it's like to be hurt by people, have mean things said or done to you and it really sucks.

anyway, not sure if i'll revisit or need to revisit this topic again but i did want to say my piece. i mean, after all, this is my blog, and it is all about me :)

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